Posts by Lori Simms
The 3 Stages of Love According to Neuroscience
Like thirst and hunger, love is essential for human survival. It can be hard for us to understand love. For thousands of years, researchers have been trying to understand how love works. Neuroscientists studying love have finally come closer to understanding how it works. Neuroscience has identified three stages of love. Understanding the stages of…
Read MoreBids For Connection: How They Can Strengthen Your Relationship
You’ve probably heard plenty of stories about what you shouldn’t do in relationships —from love bombing to gaslighting. But, what can you do in your relationship to cultivate a healthy connection? One important thing is to pay attention to bids for connection. What Are Bids For Connection? Termed by the Gottman Institute, a bid for…
Read MoreThe Emotional Costs of Maintaining Contact With Exes
Are you stuck in an endless breakup? Having a heart in limbo is the price many of us pay when we decide to maintain contact with an ex. While we may think that keeping in touch will help us to avoid the stinging pain of a breakup, the truth is that the slow, painful goodbye…
Read MoreAre You Avoiding Defining Your Relationship
Is it time to have the DTR talk with a partner? The “define the relationship” talk has become a hot issue amid the rise of situationships and casual dating. Modern daters can easily grow quite intimate with another person without actually knowing if things are exclusive, just for fun, or something in the middle. While…
Read MoreIs Your Ex Hoovering You?
Don’t allow yourself to get hoovered in your next relationship! Hoovering is the reddest of flags when dealing with partners with narcissistic tendencies. It’s a form of emotional abuse that insecure and manipulative partners use to try to stop you from leaving. In this post, I’ll lay down the basics on hoovering. I’ll also tell…
Read MoreThe Technique to Instantly Stop Arguments in Your Relationship
I can’t stop recommending the “softened start-up” technique for communication to my clients! Based on the work of John Gottman, this incredible tool has helped so many clients to finally start communicating effectively with their partners. I find it to be effective, disarming, and perfect for addressing hard topics without feelings of emotional heaviness and…
Read MoreHow Covert Narcissists Operate in Relationships
What does everyone need to know about narcissism and romantic relationships? The blanket term “narcissist” covers both covert and overt narcissists. As a therapist, I can tell you that the damage done by covert narcissists can often be more severe simply because connecting the signs can take longer. While you may feel that something is…
Read More“Single” Isn’t a Bad Word
Is there an upside to being single? You bet there is! While it’s easy to focus on the negatives of being unmatched, single life provides an opportunity for selfish, shameless self-focus! It’s a life state that should be savored. There’s some information I want to share with you if you’ve recently ended a relationship, decided…
Read MoreSingle? AI Might Soon Introduce You to “the One”
Robot matchmakers? They might be coming. While it may seem like the human heart is the last frontier that AI can conquer, technology may be about to revolutionize online dating. There’s no doubt that online dating has been everything from lackluster to frustrating for many singles. While I’ve seen plenty of success stories, the “failures”…
Read MoreMoving From “I” to “We” in Relationships: Does It Scare You?
Do you feel uncomfortable with the idea of becoming a “We” in your relationship? It’s definitely a big moment when we realize that we’re not purely making decisions based on our singular perspective. It can be the most exciting part of falling in love because you feel the drama and high stakes of entering something…
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