Posts by Lori Simms
Should You Fear the Four Horsemen of the Relationship Apocalypse?
Can you really predict which couples will get divorced? As a therapist, I’m hesitant to embrace any ideology about relationships that paints couples with a broad brush. However, certain relationship dynamics can actually be telltale signs that a split is coming. Dr. John Gottman referred to these signs as the “Four Horsemen” for relationships. The…
Read MoreRebuilding After Infidelity
Discovering that your partner has cheated can shake your world. It’s not just that cheating rips your heart out. Cheating is a revelation that requires you to make a big choice. If you’ve decided to forgive, it’s important to go “all in” with forgiveness instead of holding on to the hurt and anger. In my…
Read MoreIs Everyone Having Emotional Affairs?
What’s so bad about some innocent flirting? If this is something you’ve recently uttered to yourself, you could already be on the path to having an emotional affair. If you’ve ever been a victim of one of these affairs, you already know how painful this supposedly “victimless crime” can be for the betrayed partner. Emotional…
Read MoreHow to Stop a Breakup From Hurting Your Mental Health
We aren’t taught to grieve breakups properly. The advice we’re given is to get over it, get out of the house to meet someone new, and get on with life. In reality, we need to both tend to and honor the deep wound left behind by a breakup. This applies to both tumultuous and amicable…
Read MoreDo Changes in Intimacy and Sexual Desire Spell Trouble?
Is the relationship over just because desire has dipped? Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. In reality, physical intimacy and sexual desire can ebb and flow during the course of a long-term relationship. Of course, it’s also important to examine if your physical or mental health could be suppressing your desire and connection with your…
Read MoreWhat Does Self-Compassion Have to Do With Successful Dating?
While navigating dating and relationships, we often focus on how we’re treating the other person. We may also get caught up on how they’re treating us. However, we rarely stop to think about how we’re treating ourselves within the context of dating. This is why I emphasize self-compassion with my clients who are struggling in…
Read MoreIs This Specific Codependency Dynamic Driving Your Relationship?
Are you concerned that you’re caught up in codependency? While the specifics of your relationship are unique, the patterns that play out in codependent relationships are pretty predictable. In fact, you may feel like you’re getting into relationships with the same person over and over again in your life. “Codependency is a dysfunctional relationship dynamic…
Read MoreWhy Some Couples Need Discernment Counseling Before the Divorce Ink Is Dry
There’s one last stop on the road to divorce that all couples should know about. It’s called discernment counseling. The purpose of discernment counseling isn’t to talk anybody out of anything. Its purpose is to ensure that both parties are given the tools and opportunity to achieve full clarity about the decision to separate before…
Read MoreAvoid These Five Communication Blunders in Your Relationship
Why does communication break down so easily for couples? Most of us carry common habits into our communication styles without even knowing that we’re sowing seeds of hurt, distrust, and miscommunication. Discovering our communication mistakes is freeing because it allows us to escape cycles that have left us feeling frustrated for so long! How do…
Read MoreLove Bombing Is the Dating Red Flag You Need to Know About
Have you ever had someone make it clear that they’ve fallen in love with you on a first date? Don’t trust it. They were probably love bombing you. While some people really do know that they’ve found “the one” at first glance, the truth is that love at first sight is rare. What’s more, a…
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