Couples
Are You Avoiding Defining Your Relationship
Is it time to have the DTR talk with a partner? The “define the relationship” talk has become a hot issue amid the rise of situationships and casual dating. Modern daters can easily grow quite intimate with another person without actually knowing if things are exclusive, just for fun, or something in the middle. While…
Read MoreMoving From “I” to “We” in Relationships: Does It Scare You?
Do you feel uncomfortable with the idea of becoming a “We” in your relationship? It’s definitely a big moment when we realize that we’re not purely making decisions based on our singular perspective. It can be the most exciting part of falling in love because you feel the drama and high stakes of entering something…
Read MoreShould You Fear the Four Horsemen of the Relationship Apocalypse?
Can you really predict which couples will get divorced? As a therapist, I’m hesitant to embrace any ideology about relationships that paints couples with a broad brush. However, certain relationship dynamics can actually be telltale signs that a split is coming. Dr. John Gottman referred to these signs as the “Four Horsemen” for relationships. The…
Read MoreIs Everyone Having Emotional Affairs?
What’s so bad about some innocent flirting? If this is something you’ve recently uttered to yourself, you could already be on the path to having an emotional affair. If you’ve ever been a victim of one of these affairs, you already know how painful this supposedly “victimless crime” can be for the betrayed partner. Emotional…
Read MoreHow to Stop a Breakup From Hurting Your Mental Health
We aren’t taught to grieve breakups properly. The advice we’re given is to get over it, get out of the house to meet someone new, and get on with life. In reality, we need to both tend to and honor the deep wound left behind by a breakup. This applies to both tumultuous and amicable…
Read MoreWhat Does Self-Compassion Have to Do With Successful Dating?
While navigating dating and relationships, we often focus on how we’re treating the other person. We may also get caught up on how they’re treating us. However, we rarely stop to think about how we’re treating ourselves within the context of dating. This is why I emphasize self-compassion with my clients who are struggling in…
Read MoreIs This Specific Codependency Dynamic Driving Your Relationship?
Are you concerned that you’re caught up in codependency? While the specifics of your relationship are unique, the patterns that play out in codependent relationships are pretty predictable. In fact, you may feel like you’re getting into relationships with the same person over and over again in your life. “Codependency is a dysfunctional relationship dynamic…
Read MoreHere’s Why Your Brain Can’t Quit That Boomerang Relationship
Are you caught in a boomerang relationship? From a therapist’s standpoint, things that “come back” after you let them go don’t always come back because they belong to you. It’s more likely that you’re stuck in an unhealthy cycle. You keep getting back together in the hopes that you’ll finally get in sync this time…
Read MoreWhy Some Couples Need Discernment Counseling Before the Divorce Ink Is Dry
There’s one last stop on the road to divorce that all couples should know about. It’s called discernment counseling. The purpose of discernment counseling isn’t to talk anybody out of anything. Its purpose is to ensure that both parties are given the tools and opportunity to achieve full clarity about the decision to separate before…
Read More