Don’t Confuse Red Flags With Quirks

Can you tell the difference between warning signs and harmless quirks? It’s not always easy. When we’re dating with an open mind, we want to leave room for accepting little quirks or habits that make a person who they are. In fact, encountering someone who is “too perfect” can make us question if a potential partner is sincere. However, we also don’t want to dismiss warning signs as being innocent and harmless.

Generally, a quirk is an unusual habit, passion, or aspect of someone’s personality that you find a bit strange. While it may throw you off course, a quirk doesn’t harm anyone. It also doesn’t make a person unable to be in a relationship. A red flag is anything that makes a person dangerous, unreliable, or unavailable. Here are some quick pointers for real-world scenarios you might run into while dating.

1. Not Liking Your Friends: Red Flag

Is it a red flag if your date doesn’t like your friends? The truth is that a person can’t be expected to like everyone. It’s entirely possible that a friend you treasure may not be someone else’s “cup of tea.” However, someone who is in the early phases of dating or getting to know someone wouldn’t typically speak ill of a new partner’s friends.

You may be looking at a red flag if someone you’re seeing is saying negative things about your friends. They may insult the way a friend looks or acts. In some cases, partners do this because they feel insecure. An insecure person may not like being around your friends if they feel that your friends have more money, better jobs, or bigger homes than they do. Some toxic partners will try to turn you against your friends because they want to isolate you. In their attempt to control you, they try to convince you that your friends don’t actually care about you.

2. Talking About an Ex Excessively: Red Flag

Is the person you’re seeing simply cursed with the quirk of being a hopeless romantic at heart who is wounded by an ex? This could be the case. However, excessive conversations and ruminations that revolve around former relationships are usually signs that a person has obsessive tendencies. The red flag’s signal is stronger if the person is speaking about an ex in a hostile or degrading manner.

3. Yelling, Violating Your Personal Space, or Putting Hands on You: Red Flag

There’s no quirk on Earth that would cause a person to hit, humiliate, insult, or belittle you. These are abusive behaviors. While an abusive person may try to say that you’ve activated a quirk or trigger, these behaviors should never be confused for anything other than deviant acts.

4. Being Obsessed With Fictional Characters or Universes: Quirk

Should you be concerned if someone you’re seeing is obsessed with a fictional character, game, book series, movie franchise, or some other aspect of fandom? Not necessarily. Being a “superfan” isn’t a problem on its own. If the person is able to maintain a stable career and social life while indulging in their fandom, you’re usually dealing with a quirk. It’s likely a red flag if a person appears to be missing work, avoiding time with friends, or spending massive amounts of money on things related to fictional characters.