Robot matchmakers? They might be coming. While it may seem like the human heart is the last frontier that AI can conquer, technology may be about to revolutionize online dating. There’s no doubt that online dating has been everything from lackluster to frustrating for many singles. While I’ve seen plenty of success stories, the “failures” often taint people’s perceptions of finding love online. With AI, the things that simply don’t work about online dating may finally be fixed. Here’s what I see coming.
One of the biggest complaints I hear from clients wading into online dating is that they are being matched with people who are anything but matches! AI systems that learn your taste may help you to save time and energy by matching you with people who create that spark at first “read.” How many times have you been disappointed to learn that someone who appears to be a good match at first actually holds beliefs and values that are wildly different from your own once the conversation starts? Once AI algorithms can match you based on your interests, beliefs, and preferences, your “success rate” may skyrocket.
Have you ever felt defeated by the process of online dating after getting an inbox full of spam messages? There’s big hope that AI will finally create effective filters for weeding out spam messages and fake users. AI may also be able to screen for offensive messages. According to one study, 49% of Americans feel that dating sites are not safe. “Love scams” are so prevalent right now on online dating platforms that the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) has had to put out bulletins to warn people.
Can it go too far? My only concern with this is that people may miss out on “unexpected” attractions once match lists are curated a little too perfectly. I hope AI will help singles to meet people from wider backgrounds instead of narrowing interactions.
I’ll admit that I’m a bit mixed on this next point. However, I do think it’s exciting that AI may help to remove some of the awkwardness and anxiety of starting a conversation on a dating app by suggesting topics and conversation starters. You’ll know why this is important if you’ve ever stared at a chat box without a clue about what to say to the person you’ve just matched with. Of course, we need to use these suggestions as jumping-off points for letting our own personalities shine through instead of relying on technology to connect with the other person for us.
Struggling with online dating? It may not be the app. Our approach matters when meeting people both online and in person. Download my Dating Survival Guide to learn how to build your personal dating system!