Do you know your dating attachment style? Finding a perfect match can be impossible if you don’t. Attachment style refers to the “way” you bond with a romantic partner. It’s believed that our attachment preferences are formed in childhood based on interactions with our caregivers. I’m going to show you how to use the right dating app based on your attachment style.
How to Discover Your Attachment Style
The four attachment styles are anxious (“preoccupied”), avoidant (“dismissive”), disorganized (“fearful-avoidant”), and secure. You may be able to detect your attachment style just by reading the names. What’s more, you may suddenly recognize that you’re constantly attracted to a specific attachment style.
Attachment styles dictate how we interact with other people. They are formed by the way the emotional responses of our caregivers made us view the world, other people, and ourselves. Attachment styles rear their heads most noticeably in our romantic relationships because parent-child dynamics are often brought to the surface during tense, emotional, conflicted, or intimate encounters with our partners.
How to Use the Right Dating App for Your Attachment Style
A 2018 published study actually identified which apps people with different attachment styles use. According to researchers, “anxious” people were more likely to use Tinder and Plenty of Fish. People with avoidant attachment styles were more likely to avoid Tinder in favor of OkCupid. Interestingly, people with avoidant attachment styles are less likely to use dating apps in general.
The researchers involved in this study came up with a few theories to explain their findings. First, they wondered if people with anxious attachment styles preferred apps that are notorious for “hooking up” because these apps decrease the odds of rejection. Anxious people may also be driven to use dating apps based on a fear of being alone. Next, they tried to figure out why avoidant-type people might prefer the intimacy and personalization of the OkCupid app. Researchers ultimately settled on the idea that avoidant people who use dating apps do so only when they are ready for serious long-term relationships.
How do you make sense of this information when diving into dating apps? One way to look at it is that people on “hookup” dating apps are more receptive to relationships. However, they may be willing to jump into relationships out of fear of being single. People on relationship-focused apps may seem disinterested. However, they aren’t there to play games. Of course, it’s important to remember that this study is looking at “broad” information instead of analyzing each app user. The one thing that’s certain is that learning about your own attachment style can help you to make better, healthier relationship decisions.